There was a season in my life where I found my responsibilities to be rapidly increasing and I realized how high the stakes in my business had become. I don’t know if you have ever felt this way, but the duties of marriage, parenting and career can be overwhelming.
We try to advance in all areas of life equally, but our default usually is our career. As life levels up, we can become paralyzed by fear.
There is the fear of losing all we have worked for as well as the fear of doing anything to mess things up. So, when it comes to our creativity, we can take fewer risks because we have so much at stake.
Example, you could be a blogger who is finally making some money, and you have momentum. Your platform is strong, and you don’t want to rock the boat. You have a desire in your gut to live more authentically, but you’re scared to be yourself in fear of loss of connection, loss of belonging, acceptance, and love. It’s funny; we can build the little empires we’ve always dreamed of, only to find that they’ve become a birdcage preventing us from flight.
My friend, here’s the deal. You’ll never change the world or improve the lives in your home if you continue to play small.
You must be willing to punch fear in the face and overcome the lies you’re telling yourself. At the beginning of growing your company, your parenting and marriage you were a “professional diver”: you would keep climbing the high dives and jumping off without fear. At some point, you decided you didn’t want to lose anything that you have built, and you allowed fear to start running the show.
What would life look like if you started climbing and jumping again? What if you kept raising the height each time?
The successful entrepreneurs I encounter possess a discipline of being fearless. They have mastered getting over themselves standing in their own way. Becoming fearless is a colossal discipline to implement. Probably one of the biggest I know.
Things aren’t what they seem, and circumstances are built up in our head bigger than what they are. That’s the power of creative thinking, but it’s using your fantastic superhero power in the wrong way: on yourself. The goal is to diffuse the situation, circumstance or challenge as soon as possible allowing truth and productivity to flow. Accept the fact that you’ve allowed yourself to be driven and ran by fear rather than truth and love for yourself. Give yourself some grace and forgiveness because just like walking to the end of the diving board, your body will throw yourself back out of self-preservation (which is human) but your head is all in with intention.
Overcoming fear is a discipline like all others: it gains strength with each time you use it. It’s a muscle.
Challenge: Take your journal or notepad. Write down the fears that are at the front of your mind and then keep asking yourself what self-talk and lies are you hearing most in your head throughout the day. What specific lie and fear do you continue to listen on a daily basis? What lies are you agreeing with?
My take: Let me get personal on this one. Fear ran my life for a great many years. I eventually wrote a book on it called fear hunters because I wanted to help people get free so they could live their calling. My take on fear is this: God has placed me on this earth to accomplish an assignment and a mission. This mission I am carrying out happens to be in enemy territory, and I have an enemy doing everything possible to take me out. The enemies goal is to make me focus on my identity and who I am “not.” His job is to prosecute me and tear me down with counterfeit lies. He uses fear to keep me unproductive. If I’m productive, then I can help people in this world and show them God’s love.
Know this, the closer you move to your calling the greater interference you will encounter. It’s expected.
The discipline to overcome fear is one of the granddaddies of them all. However, your most significant growth and impact lie on the other side of your greatest fear.
Today, you get to pick how your day is going to go. Fear can run you, or you can dismantle the lies with truth. You might be fearing a phone call with a client or vendor or a friend this week. What’s worse case scenario? What’s the truth? You fear the unknown and outcomes if you are “real” in your marriage, kids, and relationships. What if today you made small steps to overcoming your fear to grow in being truly who you are? Embrace failure as your best friend because it produces growth.
Perfect love casts out fear. Love yourself by being true to yourself and others. Otherwise, we run the risk of remaining a poser and faking life which is even harder work and takes way more energy. Develop the discipline of knowing how to dismantle fear because it isn’t going to go away anytime soon, but you can master not being run by it.
Danger will always be present in life, but fear is optional. To grow, we must overcome. To overcome, we must have the discipline of dealing with failure.
I’d love to hear from you below by answering this question: “What would I act on today if I knew I couldn’t fail?
Know someone who would benefit from this post? Please share and invite them to our conversation.
In your corner,
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