1 Family, 4 Views and a Dose of Autism- How to Have a Better Day with Your Kids
AutismBlogFaithFamilyProductivity
Can you imagine what it would be like if you took an adult friend out for the day to run errands and not tell them where they are going, how long it will take and when they will get to do what they would like? That’s exactly what I realized was happening with our kids.
It was a typical day where we had a full day for the family to be together. It’s The feeling that the world was our oyster and we could do whatever we wanted for the day. However, we needed a plan…
Being a family where both my wife and I are self employed it gets absolutely full when we live out our weekly lives. We are raising two great kids 7 and 9 and we work from home. Each day is optimized to extract the most we can. This didn’t come easy and didn’t come quick. It took years of refinement. We had to formulate the following to succeed:
- A plan
- Clear communication
- Expectations
- Rewards
A Plan: Whether it’s a day off or a the kids are out of school we’ve noticed a huge change when we have a plan for the day. Structure helps everyone. The plan might be errands, lunch, playtime at the park, bike rides, trampoline, chores, free time on devices/games.
Clear Communication: Communicating the plan to everyone in the family young and old is vital. I get so tunnel visioned with my agenda to run the ship that I forget to communicate what I’ve got on my radar. If everyone states their needs it prevents fallout and wasted time. So, I make it a clear point to explain which errands, how long it’s going to take, where they are going to go, when we will be home and when they get to have free time. It’s huge for them to be a part of the plan and know. Also as parents I think it’s really unfair to bring them in tow for a day when they have no clue what’s going on. As an adult I’d be pretty frustrated if I didn’t know what to expect but was taken around for the day. Put yourself in your kids shoes.
Expectations: When we talk to the kids we lay the expectations for the day. Playing on the iPad or devices is great “if” your room is clean, homework done. In addition, we started active/exercise such as bike rides and time on the trampoline before video games. Equal active time to gameplay time. Now our kids know when they ask that we will ask about the room etc. It’s helping them govern and manage their own discipline. It’s up to them. When planning the day the first thing they will ask if for free time. How much and how soon?
Rewards: As adults we get our errands and responsibilities done so we can finally do what we enjoy whether reading or whatever. I’ve noticed the same for the kids. That said, it makes homework, errands and responsibilities funner knowing there’s a reward. It’s healthy and life doesn’t have to be so “hard”.
I will add that “structure” and knowing and communicating the plan is huge for Little Noah and autism in our home. Structure is paramount for the family to function and be at peace. The kids know what to expect and us as parents too.
Our life used to be full of meltdowns and lots of crying with Noah. His sister was frustrated. We didn’t have answers. This formula above made things start to focus and become routine. Meltdowns are almost a thing of the past as we implement the above.
Give it a try. I’d love to hear how things go and hope that these ideas, although nothing new, can enrich each day for your family.
If you approach each day with a plan, communicate the plan, talk expectations and the rewards, that’s a day I’d like to be a part of!!
What are some of the techniques you’ve used to help your daily routine with the family and kids? How has the challenges of autism changed your approach? Lets me know by commenting below and please share this with others! Thanks
Recent comments
Kathy Presley 11 years ago
First I would like to say I admire the way you are handling and dealing with a child that has autism. It must be hard at times but you have the right attitude and spirit. My son is now 29 yrs old but we did the same thing with him structure works wonders. I am glad you posted the blog so other parents can benefit from this. I really enjoyed working at off the page cause i was able to enjoy your paintins.
noah fine art 11 years ago
Kathy thanks so much for your words of encouragement. Thanks for being in the blog.
Tobin Pilotte 10 years ago
I have been following your work for years off and on and I am always blown away by your gift.
Now, I come back to your site and its different and I am reading these great blog entries and I now have to say I am blown away by your gift(s). As an artist and father of six (all under 17) my wife and I are always struggling with the very issues you wrote about above. Thanks for posting this as it gives me a plan and the much needed inspiration to make it happen. Thanks a mil!!!!
noah fine art 10 years ago
Tobin, thanks for sharing. Keep it rolling man.
Elena madore 10 years ago
I stumbled apon this blog as I was fascinated by the art and noticed the word autism. I have a 7 year old son with autism and it breaks my heart how other children see him so different and I see him as amazing. I just want us all as parents to teach our children acceptance. It is the hardest part of my sons live.
Thanks for sharing your insight,
E
noah fine art 10 years ago
Elena,
I totally understand where you are coming from. autism is a hard battle but indeed, our children are created perfect. we are a better family because of it.
Josette Diaz 10 years ago
Thank you for sharing your story Noah. As a mother who’s almost 3 year old son was diagnosed with autism at 18 months and now we are going through the testing process with our 6 month old daughter as she is starting to show signs of autism or developmental delay. I feel like I will never be able to finish school or develop a career to financially take care of the family as I have to rely on myself since my husband is a disabled veteran. I feel hopeful and see the light at the end of the tunnel of struggles, thank you for showing me there’s choices other than what I had planned before for my family.
Yolanda 10 years ago
I saw your work at the Orange County Musink 2014 and i fell in love with all of your work. I like to draw too but i’m not half as good as you. As i’m enjoying the rest of your work online, I stumbled into your “Autism” blog. Let me just say your my new hero! I work with children with disabilites and I just love children with Autism. They’ve kept me on the field for more than 10 years. I just wished more people understood them better, like you explained in this blog. The simplest things in life can be enjoyed by following a simple formula like yours. You are a very blessed man with a beautiful family and a wonderful gift for art!! Thank you for sharing with us. Your new fan, Yolanda