Your True self: The road less travelled. Are you living the life you always wanted?
What stops you from traveling the life you’ve always wanted?
Fear is the gateway of who we are and who we are destined to be. -Justin Stumvoll
Thanksgiving week is when it feels as if life kicks up two more levels on the volume knob. The year is beginning to wind down, but pressures form all around us. You evaluate the life you’ve been living for the past 10 months and realize you are racing time to New Year’s Eve. For some, New Years Eve is another day to party and numb out the noise. For others, it’s a measuring stick: It’s a time to take stock on what value, worth, and impact you created in the past year. You look back and see what can be changed, improved, and eliminated. Was it a year of existing or a year of being? What if you could change the course of your life? Would you? I have found what I believe keeps us from becoming and living out our true self.
I believe we live two lives that are constantly at war: The life we are living now and the life we hope to live. It’s as if we have a chasm between the ideal us as we’ve dreamt and the mundane life of “have to” live day in and day out. Since I was 13, this war was raging within me, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I had the reality of living day to day survival and the life I wanted of thriving in my talents, passions, and relationships. It’s not a life of balance. It’s a life of purpose.
So, I wanted to share with you a few road blocks I believe paralyze us from becoming who we are supposed to be. And, we’ll talk about some ways to discover that person.
What are the things that stop us from living the life we are meant to live?:
Defining the Enemy: We cannot defeat the enemy until we recognize, define, and locate it. The enemy is us. Ourselves. We blame outside forces, people, circumstances, and our physical feelings to justify why we don’t change and accomplish our goals. We even rationalize and say our past, upbringing, family of origin, and ancestors are to blame. Now that you know who the enemy is, take a moment to consider the symptoms and examples of how the enemy shows up in your life.
Self Sabotage: You desire to be an artist, launch the dream you’ve always wanted, lose weight, and get that new business off the ground. The other you (enemy within) wages war and throws all it has at you to keep your authentic self from accomplishing it. It’s full-time occupation, and mission is to shut you down at all costs. Once I defined this enemy, I formed strategies to silence and overcome it.
Rationalization: The enemy will use any excuse to rationalize why we shouldn’t take action. We build days of “thinking” and “dreaming” about what we want, instead of “doing” or “building.” Goals without deadlines will remain dreams. We live vicariously through other people’s social media, build dream boards on Pinterest, and get consumed in false identities through TV, movies, and pop culture. All the while, we stay on the hamster wheel: Super busy running, but getting nowhere.
Procrastination: 80% of all people I meet suffer from this condition. The enemy within knows exactly what you need to hear to keep your dreams sidelined. This condition of self-hate gives birth to other symptoms to keep us paralyzed. We look for people to fix, create drama to stay busy instead of building our dreams, overeat to stay numbed from feeling the shame of inaction, put our self-worth in the hands of others and allow their opinions to define us, overwork a job we hate to build someone else’s dreams at the cost of our own, and stay in toxic relationships. These are just a few examples of how procrastination tries to win, but the root cause is self-hate based in fear, which is the mother of all.
Fear: Fear of what we will become. Fear of success. Fear of the unknown. Fear that we can’t handle all that will happen. We chose to stay in a condition of analysis paralysis. Even though we are miserable it’s better than the unknown and road less traveled. We work until our hands bleed hoping to get as comfortable as possible only to realize that day never comes. The fear of living our true self overwhelms us, and we retreat to numbing ourselves with another symptom above.
So I have a question for you that I had to ask myself: Are you living the live you’ve always wanted? Are you being your true authentic self? Is the world and your relationships getting the real you?
When I came to grips with these questions, I pulled the trigger and started doing life with people that didn’t care what others thought. Their lives were a symbiotic relationship with the Creator and they worked to build a life designed and crafted to be amazing.
Let me tell you, it is possible to live your true self. Here’s what I did:
I began changing all my decisions regarding my spiritual life, marriage, kids, relationships, my career and craft, and giving. What then began to form is what I call living in the sweet spot: I shaped work around my life. Work became more preferred and less about principle. My marriage began to thrive because my mission was to get that foundation solid before adding anything else. My relationships with my kids started to flourish and work became more preferred because it wasn’t the main identity. For years, my work defined me. Now it’s just a vehicle and a way to underwrite our mission.
Then, I wanted to help others get set free. I wanted to help others achieve the life they’ve always wanted. I wanted to help their dreams become a reality. That’s how www.noahuniversity.com was born. I designed an online mentorship to help people gain the techniques, strategies, and tools to run his or her life; not have life run them.
I’d love for you to leave a comment below and answer the question: If I could live the life I always wanted, what would that life look like? What is holding me back? Oh and by the way, money and time can’t be the excuse.
Please share this with others you feel need encouragement and hope. I’m glad you’re here and thanks for reading.
Recent comments
Kellie B. 9 years ago
I am self-victim of fear and procrastination. BUT no longer! Joining Noah University was the best decision I ever made. Really loved this post Noah. Hit some road blocks today and this was just the reminder I was needing.
Noah 9 years ago
Kellie awesome job! Thanks for your comment!
Dave Michal 9 years ago
Great blog Noah. Deal with your fears straight up, get set free, and lead a purpose driven life of positive impact. Live the life you truly always wanted. This is what we all strive to achieve, but of course, the question is will we do what it takes to make it happen. Thanks for the inspiration! I have made the decision to live life well, while doing well for others. Blessings Multiplied!
Noah 9 years ago
Dave, thanks man. Appreciate you leaning into life. Youre a great example.
Jay 9 years ago
Blessed to be part of Noah U and to have more control over my life. Doing life with Noah and my Noah U “family” has changed me in ways I could never have imagined. Sidenote, Noah, check out the Chimp Paradox, great nuggets in there on understanding & silencing the enemy within!
Noah 9 years ago
Thanks Jay for being here. Can’t wait to check it out. Thanks for the tip.
John Knell 9 years ago
Hey Noah
Great distillation of your Noah University mission. Still buzzing over Reimagine and unpacking everything I learned. (Which was substantial). 2014 was great…2015 is going to be off the charts thanks to you, Noah U and Reimagine.
Sarah 9 years ago
I discovered your amazing art through my love of all things Disney, but your blog is definitely what keeps me coming back. I’ve only discovered it in the last few months but I’m finding it so uplifting and inspiring and I desperately want to thank you for that. I don’t yet know what I want, but I know that I’m not happy and I’m working on figuring it out. I feel like I’m living my life like a chess game – organising other people and helping them get closer to what they want without taking a single step myself. – 25yo from Australia.
Noah 9 years ago
Sarah, appreciate the kind words and feedback. Thanks for being here.
Lindsay 9 years ago
About a week ago my husband & I decided to turn our schedule upside. He works nights and in Sweden in the winter it starts getting dark at 3pm lol so on our old time schedule (which worked great in the summer) we were basically living in darkness for weeks and it really sucks away your motivation, and it would be months if we hadn’t decided to do something drastic! It wasn’t convenient and we even felt like we had jet lag but guess what?! Life has been SO much better now! and thanks to what I’ve been learning in Noah U about management we set up a schedule and so it’s been a lot of changes all at once but i never could have imagined that the benefits would be this good! we were letting our fear hold us back from doing something drastic at first but then we thought, you don’t know till you try! It’s going to make our lives in Sweden so much better until we are able to move to the States and continue following our dreams! Thanks so much for encouragement and this was a great blog post!
Noah- relevant and poignant as always. Thanks for the reminder. Procrastination is a huge enemy of mine and I'm learning to shut that down. Thanks for bein here for us and for fostering an environment and family with Noah U that will help take our joy, ou 9 years ago
http://www.falgalfineart.com
Wow. You have hit the nail on the head with this one. (Actually my forehead). Excellent blog and right to the point! I have always known procrastination was a major enemy, never truly realized the different faces it could take on! 9 years ago
http://www.craigfraserstudios.com
Noah 9 years ago
Thanks Craig. Yes, many faces to the enemy within we create to keep us from doing our “best work”.
Craig Fraser 9 years ago
Wow. You have hit the nail on the head with this one. (Actually my forehead). Excellent blog and right to the point! I have always known procrastination was a major enemy, never truly realized the different faces it could take on! Thanks for the amazing teaching and keep the “firehose” on!
Krystal 9 years ago
As you know we have recently taken that leap of faith and trust, to living the life we fully want to live. Quitting our job, renting out our home and traveling the country in a truck and fifth wheel to rejuvenate our relationships with God, each other and our kids and to reconnect family relationships that have fallen by the way side throughout the years and begin new relationships with those God puts in our path. While beginning a new online business and lifestyle. Noah U, has been a big part of our decisions we are making and our life we are now living. We encourage each of you to go live the life you want also!
Brooke Coon 9 years ago
Analysis paralysis. Uhhhh. I know it. But the goal setting and timeline is changing that!
Kyle Vincent Thomas 3 years ago
If I could live the life I always wanted, what would that life look like? I would be a full time artist with and nice big beautiful studio and also teaching art. I would be supporting my wife and kids solely through my art and teaching, getting top prices for my original paintings. I would be confident in My skills and myself.
What is holding me back? I am. My hesitation, my fear, my insecurity. I don’t know if this is what God is wanting of me.
Noah Elias 3 years ago
Kyle, go hard until he says stop. Keep him the central focus. You can’t go wrong.