I’m just going to come right out and say it: perfectionism nearly wrecked me.

Perfectionism Is Not Excellence: It’s a Condition

Perfectionism is a condition. I call it that deliberately, because that’s exactly what it is, a condition that drives you and everyone around you absolutely crazy. It masquerades as high standards. It tells you it’s just about caring deeply. But underneath all of that, perfectionism is really about control — about fear, and about the terrifying idea that if something isn’t perfect, it means you aren’t enough.

However, I know that might sound strange coming from someone who cares deeply about craft, about quality, about doing things with excellence. But there’s a massive difference between excellence and perfectionism, and for a long time I didn’t know where one ended and the other began.

So let me ask you something: Are you trying to be perfect in your parenting, your job, your craft, or your relationships? Do you find yourself constantly on edge because you’ve set a standard that can never actually be met? Do you feel like you could just get everything perfectly aligned — your finances, the house, the schedule, the relationships — and then everything would finally be okay?

I’ve been there. I lived there for years. And here’s what I found: the moment you think you’ve got everything perfectly dialed in, the dog runs through with muddy paws and the wheels fall off. Life is messy, and it’s unpredictable. No amount of perfectionism will ever change that.

Perfectionism Creates a False Sense of Security

Here’s the truth I had to learn the hard way: true, authentic living is messy and dirty, because we fail. And in order to live a life beyond the comfort zone, you have to be willing to get dirty. In fact, perfectionism creates a false sense of security. It tells you that if you can just control enough variables, you’ll be safe. But that safety is an illusion. It’s a cage dressed up as a comfort zone.

The Pursuit of Perfect Becomes the Enemy of Done

The second thing I had to come to terms with is this: perfectionism is not achievable. It never will be. No matter how hard you strive, there will always be variables outside your control. And those who strive for perfect or nothing most often end up with nothing. Think about that. The pursuit of perfection becomes the enemy of done, of launched, of being fully alive.

I’ve seen this play out in my own work more times than I can count. I’ll be working on a painting, and I’ll get to a point where I know that it is great. I’ve met the standard. I feel really good about it. But then perfectionism whispers, “Just a little more. Just one more adjustment. It’s not quite there yet.” And if I listen to that voice, I’ll never let it go. I’ll never put it on the market. That piece will never do what it was made to do. Which is to get out into the world and impact someone.

Perhaps you’re writing a song. Maybe you’re launching a restaurant. Or you’re stepping out into a new area of life. And perfectionism is sitting there telling you it’s not ready yet. It’s not good enough yet. You’re not good enough yet.

So here’s what I want to say to that: we are all playing the game of life broken. Every single one of us. I am not perfect physically, mentally, or spiritually. I’m broken in all those areas. But here’s the key: I don’t take that fact and use it as a reason not to play. We have to play. And it’s only by playing that we get the prize.

Play Broken: You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be in the Game

You don’t get a World Series ring by standing on the sidelines. Nobody gets it by watching from the stands. You get it by being in the game! Broken, imperfect, messy, and all. Play broken. Play hurt. Make it happen, regardless of whether you feel like you’ve got it all together.

Perfectionism Will Put You on an Island

The third thing perfectionism does, and this one is sneaky, is it puts you on an island. It drives others away. When your standard of perfection becomes unmanageable, when it becomes something that controls every interaction and every environment, people don’t want to be around you. Or worse, you don’t want to be around them, because they’re not meeting your standard. And before you know it, loneliness sets in. You’re isolated. You’re alone on an island of your own making, surrounded by a perfect environment that has no one in it.

That’s not living. Instead, it’s existing in a very clean, very lonely prison.

The moment I took the wind out of my sail of always trying to be perfect was the moment I gave myself permission to be good enough, to be done, to be out there. I was finally able to breathe again — to exhale. And ironically, that’s when my best work started happening. Not because I stopped caring, but because I stopped strangling the life out of everything I created.

Excellence vs. Perfectionism: Choose to Let Go

Excellence says, “I’m going to give this everything I have and then release it.” Perfectionism says, “I’m going to hold this hostage until it meets a standard that doesn’t exist.”

I want you to choose excellence. I want you to do your absolute best given the conditions you’re in, and then release it. Put it out there. Make it happen. Because the world needs what you have. Imperfect, broken, beautiful, and real.

Encouragement & Action:

This week, I want you to identify one thing you’ve been holding back because it “isn’t perfect yet.” A project, a conversation, a dream, a creative piece. And I want you to take one concrete step toward releasing it. Ship it. Send it. Say it. Launch it.

Here’s a fun question for the comments: What’s one thing perfectionism has been holding hostage in your life? Drop it below. I want to celebrate with you when you finally let it go!